"At least once before I die, I want to remember everything I've ever touched. Maybe not all at once though as the swelling of a single sense must surely crush the others, but slowly, positively and without compunction. Piecemeal, reunification.
   I want the surface of everything to reanimate my nerves and concentrate in the tips of my fingers. Rise slowly, like blood from a puncture, eking in darts and figure eights around the lonely boulder of my heart."

...:: *  ::... 

A small rock fountain sits beside my bed, a gift from my parents,
fashioned by their hands. I don't know why, but I turned it off
several months ago. Perhaps because I heard my mother's
voice in its song.
   Yesterday evening I found myself craving something I could
not name...then saw the fountain and knew what it was.
   She sang me to sleep again last night...a wordless flowing
lullabye, beautiful and serene.

* * *


still playing with the water bottle

...:: she ain't heavy ::... 

The above quote is from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's final
episode, What You Leave Behind—one of my all-time favorite
scenes wherein Quark tries to convince Kira that Odo shares
Quark's affection. Altho' Kira remains unconvinced, ST: DS9
devotees know that Quark called it correctly. While Odo would
rather die than admit it, his somewhat reluctant affection for the
incorrigible Ferengi is there to see between the lines. 
   One of the reasons I so love that scene is that it perfectly 
encapsulates the complex dynamics of "family." The ties that bind
are often hidden or disguised, sometimes buried so deeply their
pull can barely be felt...but they are always there. 
   While family—whether surrogate or blood—can strengthen and 
enrich during good times and bad, nothing can cause pain like that
received at the hand of a loved one. I know, for I have dealt more
than my share, and I'd give the world to be able to take it back.
Only a few years ago, I was certain I was the one wronged. Jude,
the martyred. But with time and some painful communication, I 
came to understand...all things happen for a reason. Hurt begets
hurt, whether committed knowingly or not. Its legacy is pain. But 
the cycle can stop, and wounds can heal if one lets the love that
is there shine forth.
   This entry...these thoughts are for a beloved friend. To her I say:
Listen to your heart, love. Let it guide you. Believe me when I say
nothing is unforgivable. No heart is so broken it cannot mend.
Believe in yourself. Believe in her, even when she strikes out at
you or turns away.
   And have faith...given half a chance, love will always find a way.

* * *


family...you gotta love 'em
yes you do
it says so in the manual

image © copyright Teri M.